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Saturday, December 21, 2013

Paul Ryan Found Gog




It is no wonder why the uniquely entertaining and beloved Onion has gone out of print publication, the competition for their format is fierce.

In case you missed it, somebody at Buzzfeed must of tripped and impaled himself on a spike of heavily stepped on black tar (no pun intended) when they published this absolutely bizarre yet stunningly blank-stare puff piece about Rep. Paul Ryan having an "epiphany" of sorts and finding God.

Replete with an eye-rolling shopped image of Ryan over a glowing profile shot of "The Peoples" Pope Francis, the writer makes the claim that since the epiphany Ryan experienced sometime in October of 2012, he has transformed himself into a "champion of the poor." Honest. Really.

However, since that epiphany, Ryan has sidestepped town hall listening sessions near his hometown in 2013 and instead attended another one of billionaires David and Charles Koch's annual "retreats."

The secretive retreats, referred to as "conservative strategy" sessions by attendees, seemed to have a major effect on Ryan because soon after the August 2013 retreat, he and fellow House republicans plotted to scorch the U.S. economy by holding the federal government hostage in exchange for ransom. The ransom of course being the termination of the Affordable Care Act.

Despite recent denials of their opposition to the ACA, it is well known the Koch Brothers would like nothing less than to see it crash and burn. We now know that strategy has failed ...so far.

Now Paul Ryan is back again with a different hostage - the debt ceiling. But this time he dropped the termination of the ACA from the ransom package and replaced it with yet another Koch trophy - the Keystone XL Pipeline.

Outside of the remote possibility that Paul Ryan had a life-changing spiritual episode, serious Roman Catholics should be offended by the Atlas Shrugging Ryan and his media enabler's attempts to co-opt Pope Francis' authentic humanist approach and growing popularity. Pope Francis appears to be the real deal and not some opportunist using semantics and theater to bring about a false sense of compassion or reforms.

But getting back to Paul Ryan: Is he a champion of the poor?

HAAAAAAAAAAAAhahahaha ...seriousness.
Ooooooooooaaaaaaaaaahahahahahaaaaa.

You may also like:

Think Progress - BuzzFeed Declares Paul Ryan A ‘Champion Of The Poor,’ Offers No Supporting Evidence

Rachel Maddow Show - Champion of the Poor?

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