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Thursday, April 13, 2017

Elusive "On The Lam" Janesville Congressman Spotted In Hollywood

While hometown residents continue to live in fear of what his next move might be, district constituents held yet another "Where's Paul Ryan?" townhall on April 1st, this time in Racine.

The elusive fleebagging Janesville congressman was a no-show of course, but he was spotted in La La Land the next weekend at Universal Studios, according to TMZ.

We reached out to Universal Studios for comment on the visit, but they offered us none. We also reached out to the Hard Rock Cafe on CityWalk (because, let's be honest, when Paul Ryan goes to Universal Studios he probably eats at the Hard Rock Cafe). They, too, offered us no comment.

Following a deep search, we were unable to find any photographic proof on Instagram that Paul Ryan (re: a celebrity) visited Universal yesterday (re: a tourist-heavy destination), which leads us to believe that it is still possible in this day and age to go off the grid.

Watch it:

Remember that time Paul Ryan claimed he gave up "fear" for Lent?

What do you think Ryan gave up this time?

A. Pretending to be who he was.
B. First Growth Bordeaux
C. Texting while his chauffeur drives.
D. Lent
E. Other

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