If The WMC Petitioned Workers For The No Time Off Work Week

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Dear Valued Employees:

Instead of placing your employer at a competitive disadvantage by petitioning to raise the minimum wage or asking for an undeserved raise, the best way you can earn extra money and restore worth in the eyes of generous employers is by working seven days a week without time off. That day off or two can hurt a worker's self-esteem and production levels. Here's why:

By giving workers time off, they become lazy and ungrateful toward their superiors and paymasters and then take those frustrations out on their spouses, children, grandchildren and friends during those wasteful unproductive hours. This only breaks the family unit down further and often leads to divorce. The Wisconsin proposal allowing for a seven day work week with no time off promotes stronger family values.

In fact, by giving employees one day off during a seven day work week, the callouses on their palms and fingers start to become tender and lose the scale-like armor necessary for controlling machines and working hand tools. This can hurt production and lead to unhappy workers.

With a day or two of rest, hunched over backs and shoulders can lose the ergonomically advantaged leverage trained by years of daily lifting 50 lb. cartons and sacks of goods and produce. This only causes more strain and effort later on.

For many workers, the two day weekend breaks the continuum of lubricated joints and healthy muscles that only rigorous labor and repetitious orders can deliver. Upon returning to their jobs, many workers complain of aches and pains from the rust that sets in during the weekend. This has got to stop. We know that because as business owners and executives, we also engage in the same hard work as our employees and nobody gives us time off and we don't complain.

With a day off, bunions and warts also begin to shrink and as the natural warmth and feeling returns to the fingers after breaking away from hours on end of data entry, we start to lose confidence in ourselves and hope the boss didn't find a new replacement for our job.

As with all non-productive activity, idle minds also begin to aimlessly wander as we sit in a recliner with a cold one watching Monday Night Football. You get the idea. Time off thinking becomes a buzz kill and quite honestly, you're not paid to think.

Bonding activities like taking the kids out on a weekend camping excursion or lazily lounging around holding hands with the spouse only reminds us of the healing pain and torture our bodies go through while it stagnates to recuperate.

We believe wage earning employees and laborers in Wisconsin understand that time off from their jobs destroys their morale and dignity. Besides, nothing gives a full-time worker more joy than to know they're depriving somebody else of acquiring gainful part-time employment they may desperately need to support themselves or their family. The joy of continuous hard work and competition makes us all winners.

But most importantly, we can't let Barack Obama or union bosses steal our freedoms. So please, be a patriot and support the proposal allowing for a seven day work week with no time off.

Pssst. You can ignore that large sign in the human resources department defining at-will employment. We all know refusing requests from the boss to work without time off will be met with mutual respect because workers hold all the leverage - it's strictly voluntary.

Please call or visit Wisconsin Manufacturers and Commerce and tell them what you think of their proposal. Also, you can chat with the two major legislative sponsors of the proposal, Sen. Glen Grothman here or Rep. Mark Born.